I hate Father's Day.

And here's why.

For many years I was single mom. So Father's Day was always traumatic for The Boy, because there were always father/son happenings. This was even harder for The Boy because his birthday is always right around Father's Day. So of course he missed those. And as a side note, there are father/son, father/daughter and mother/daughter occasions, why are there never any mother/son things? So Father's Day was a bitch for that.

Second, I really pretty much hate my dad. OK, hate may be a strong word for it, but I am estranged from him, and I like it that way. But, I hate trying to deal with Father's Day. I acknowledge Father's Day, his birthday and Christmas for him. And really that's not even for me. If I could I would completely ignore him. I do it for The Boy. My dad is very manipulative and if I didn't acknowledge his things then he wouldn't send me cards for whatever. Now, I'm fine with that, but when he started doing it to my kid I get pissed, because he did it when The Boy was old enough to remember it.

The year The Boy turned one he was really sick on Father's Day. It was the day after his birthday, poor kid, and we spent the day at the doctor's office trying to get him taken care of. He had double ear infections and tonsilitis, was puking and running a high fever. Yeah, I was a little too busy to call dad and wish him a happy Father's Day. I barely remembered to do it with my husband. I went down to visit my mom for a week right after that and dad came down to see me and The Boy and he gave me shit for it. Yeah, that's the type of jerk my dad is.

Anyway, I hated trying to send him a card because most of the Father's Day cards are all "You're the best dad in the world" type of stuff. You really can't find cards that say "You're an abusive son of a bitch and I want to make sure you don't hurt my kid so have a freaking Father's Day card". Much harder to find a card like that. Hmmm, maybe I should start a card company for people with toxic family members.

So cards were out of the picture. Then how about calling him. I do my best to try not to call him, I would call at times I knew he wouldn't be home because I didn't want to talk to him. But lately I have found the perfect way to talk to him. I text him. But I don't want to give him our cell phone number so I do it through SMS messages on Yahoo. That way I can sign out of chat when I don't want to talk to him. He can only chat with me when I am on chat. Perfect.

Now there is one reason that I kind of like Father's day, other than my husband who I mostly like most of the time. My step-father. He married my mom several years ago. When he married her he told me I was his daughter, even though I was a full grown adult at the time. He has always treated me like I was his daughter. He has done more than my bio-dad ever did. I can't wish him a specific Happy Father's Day on FB because it will hurt my bro and sis if they find out, and they will take it badly and they will tell dad. Which shouldn't bother me, but he's likely to mke it harder for mom and me to talk to my brothers. It's stupid and I hate it. But there it is.

So, that's the reason I hate Father's Day. There are great dads out there. But there are a lot of really crappy ones too. Mothers too. I have issues with Mother's Day, but those will have to wait until next Mother's Day.